17/03
I'm starting to hate you

WE COULD OF BEEN FINE AND YOU HAD TO BE SOCIABLE, honestly, fuck you, fuck me, YOU DO START CONVERSATIONS, AND DUDE, GOOD FOR FUCKING YOU, I just wanted to be happy...I just wanted to be alone... I JUST WANTED NOT TO WANT TO KILL EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES, SO FUCK ME.

18/03
Who am I for real?

In class right now, why does the teatcher screams so mutch? I'm so fucking bothered, even tho I'm wearing headphones I can hear it all, and even tho I can hear it I can't pay attention, I don't know what to do, and everything seems negative right now, I just wanted to be laying down on your bed to talk and hug... can we talk and hug for a bit? I feel so fucking overwellmed, please, be nice, I know I'm a jerk but I really need this niceness right now, so will you? Would you just blindely help me?....

23/03
Old book page

I wanted friends, people I could talk to, people that were nice, honestly just someone to stick around. I have a boyfriend, I'm happy with my boyfiend I guess, we fight a lot but he makes me happy sometimes, I don't wanna live with him forever, I don't think I could handle it honestly, he annoys me a lot. Second topic of the day: she talks a lot, for fucks sake, she does, and I care to listen for some unknown reason, but she does nothing; everithing may be planned and promissed, but why would she care? She is not the unhappy one, I AM. I haven't paid attention to a single biology 2 class since the first exam, im so fucked... its like I don't care anymore... I've known that for a while, like, that I don't care, I cutted myself yesterday after a fucking streak of not hurting myself, why am I so broken? All I wanted was a simpler way of living but here I am, stuck on the same page of the book that has been read over a million times and yet longing to be understood. No need to worry, I'll be fine.

24/03
Wanna talk to you

Today I talked to you brifely, it was nice, it was... just simple, as simple as life should be, honestly... I wish we could have simpler chats more often, that be very nice to be honest... guess I'm fine till now, I'm just thinking bout good things and when the bad stuff come i send em away... I wanna talk to you more, have more simple talks, and simply happy moments.

02/09
Facede

I feel grossed out reading 'bout who I used to be, not that I don't want to kill people anymore, just that my desires were so shallow, the only real thing I see is the "ABSORVED" page i wrote. I don't want life to be simple or boring, I want to change and be changed. And how does all this go back to a facede? Well, that I may tell you. When someone looks to your face and says they want you to be theyr friend but truly they are whores, skanks, garbege, worse than spit, and all they want is to fuck and stab you. Nothing of that is new to me, NOTHING, but I recently changed schools, and people here want to make sure that I'm not friends with them and that I don't make any friends, and by any means necessary. Well I'm torturing my own mind becouse I can't grab a pistol and shoot theyr pussys and dicks and make them suffer. Fucking highschool assholes, I wish I lived Tate's life, being ready for noble war.